Them Blizzard April Fools

I despise April Fools, but I will admit that a surprising number of chuckles (and groans) were had over the fake WoW patch notes posted on Tuesday. Some of the highlights:

  • Dogecoin is now accepted as a form of payment, but no one really knows how it works.
  • [Hunter]: For safety, all Hunters must now wear bright orange vests at all times.
  • [Monk]: Blackout Kick now causes the victim to wake up the next day and question their life choices.
  • [Paladin]: New Ability: Renounce. When cast, Renounce permanently changes the Paladin into a Warrior.
  • [Shaman]: Rockbiter Totem now transforms the Shaman into a large stone elemental that cannot save their friends, despite having such big, strong hands.
  • [Warlock]: All spells and abilities have been significantly revamped. Again. You’ll figure it out.
  • [Warlock]: Warlocks are now overpowered. This will be addressed in a future expansion.
  • [Warrior]: Warriors have been nerfed because reasons.
  • [Raids, Dungeons, Scenarios]: Due to recent acquisitions, The Oculus is temporarily inaccessible.

You should probably just give the whole thing a once-over. The Warrior one concerning Charge in particular was extra amusing if you have been following patch notes for the last, oh, several years.

I’m pretty far removed from the game at this point, but I’ll also admit that my eye started twitching a bit at the female draenei joke revamp.



“What have they done… oh, right. Ha. Ha.” Some might say that it was too obvious, but after seeing what Michael Bay is doing in the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles reboot, I don’t know what to believe anymore. I mean, have you seen this:

I need an adult.

I need an adult.

While pretty much everyone else have been riding the nostalgia train with reboots this past decade, TMNT is pretty much my only non-Toonami stop. Well, them and ExoSquad. And maybe Gargoyles.

Posted on April 3, 2014, in Miscellany and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. Oh my goodness- I love the nod to the Neverending Story!!


  2. Perhaps the best lulz of all were had due to the WoWInsider social justice blog post about the Draenei joke.

    That said, Blizz’s stuff was a lot better this year than it wa slast year. One thing I did dislike was the fact that they “explained” the jokes in the patch notes with a dreadfully unfunny second sentence. I mean “Dogecoin is now accepted as a form of payment” is actually pretty good on its own as a joke; “but no one really knows how it works” is really just too obvious. A few of the ones you listed are like that, and it just seemed to take away from the joke a little bit. I much prefer the April Fools that are done to make you think, just for a microsecond, that they could be serious before you think what day it is.

    Accessible humour I suppose? :P


  3. I laughed out loud at the monk healing sphere line in the patch notes… I’d just finished working on healing gold on my monk and every time I wiped I was yelling at the NPCs for not even accidentally running through at least a few of the almost literally hundreds of healing spheres littering the floor… all that potential healing, just sitting there, wasting away while I was sitting at no mana, not even enough to dispel, and was getting yelled at by them for slacking off (except the tank, who never blamed me… I’ll miss him)… I was almost sympathetic toward my old holy priest buddy and his lightwell… but c’mon, JUST RUN THROUGH, ORBS DON’T EVEN REQUIRE CLICKING.

    Ahem. Anyway.



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